


Tell me where it hurts, baby

by ashdorado



Category: The Young and the Restless
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 15:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16021112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashdorado/pseuds/ashdorado
Summary: “Let me see.”“I’m fine, Mariah.” Tessa says, her tone growing harsh and impatient.Mariah pauses, observes Tessa busy herself with dirty cups and coffee ground.“Why are you lying to me?” she asks eventually.Mariah comes back from Madison and finds out what happened to Tessa.





	Tell me where it hurts, baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [snugglybug22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snugglybug22/gifts).



> So it's been forever! I'm not entirely happy with this, but it is what it is! Hope you enjoy this one-shot! :)

Mariah gets back to Genoa city the next evening. The road is quiet, the sky is grey. She thinks Tessa must still be at work at this hour. Checking her rear mirror, she decides to take a detour on her way home and heads to Crimson Light instead. She and Tessa have talked the night before; she had let her know she had made it safely to Madison. The call had been short but sweet, and Mariah still recalls the exhaustion in Tessa’s voice – from a long day, she assumed.

Mariah parks in front of the café and clicks the car shut as she walks to the entrance, soft bells letting her presence known when she sets foot inside.

The place is rather empty at this time of the day, and Tessa is alone – save for a couple of clients seated on the patio – busying herself behind the counter.

Tessa turns around upon hearing the bells and her eyes light up in surprise when she sees Mariah.

“Hey! You’re back!” she says.

“I am. I was going home but I thought I’d come and see you before you closed.”

Tessa smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She looks tired, Mariah thinks.

Mariah sneaks in behind the counter, goes for a kiss. Tessa kisses back, softly, and Mariah pulls away, taking Tessa into her arms. She feels Tessa tense as she embraces her, and eventually wince in pain. Mariah pulls back.

“Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

Mariah puts a hand on Tessa’s forearm, scans her face in concern.

“It’s nothing,” Tessa says, her voice weak, her jaws clenched. “I fell this morning and I’ve been a bit sore since then.”

“You fell?”

“Mmh.”

Mariah looks at Tessa, _really_ looks at her face for any clue, but Tessa is already moving away from her and turning around to face the espresso machine.

“Let me see.”

“I’m fine, Mariah.” Tessa says, her tone growing harsh and impatient.

Mariah pauses, observes Tessa busy herself with dirty cups and coffee ground.

“Why are you lying to me?” she asks eventually.

Tessa doesn’t say anything. Looking down, she stills, stops what she is doing for a moment.

“You said you would never lie to me, not now,” Mariah pushes.

“I know,” Tessa says.

“Then talk to me,” Mariah almost whispers, scanning the room to make sure no one is eavesdropping on them.

Tessa closes her eyes and sigh. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can!” It’s Mariah’s turn to feel impatient now, and she all but drags Tessa into the side pantry.

As soon as the door is closed, she can see that Tessa is trying not to cry. There’s a wrenching sensation in Mariah’s chest and she can’t quite tell if it’s from worry or guilt. Mariah observes Tessa’s slow, careful movements, the pained look on her face. Worry wins.

“What happened to you, Tessa?”

Tessa’s eyes start welling up and she simply shakes her head, lightly folding onto herself.

“Did someone do something to you?” Mariah is trying to stay calm, but she cannot help the feeling of dread that rises in her.

Silence.

“I don’t want you to get involved in this,” Tessa says after a while. “This is my burden, not yours.”

“Tessa, I _am_ involved in this! What concerns you concerns _me_ , too!”

She reaches for Tessa, slowly, afraid of making her withdraw completely, afraid of touching her, hurting her.

“Tessa, _please_ , just… show me.”

A few tears are running down Tessa’s face now. Facing away from Mariah, she raises the side of her shirt slowly, revealing a large, dark bruise covering the whole expanse of her ribcage.

In that instant, Mariah hears nothing but white noise. _How could this have happened?_

“Oh, Tessa.” Mariah says, voice breaking.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I swear.”

“Who did this to you?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t see them.”

Tessa lowers her shirt back down. Mariah stares at her, paralyzed, a stray tear rolling down her cheek. She wipes it away quickly. This isn’t about _her_.

They face each other silently for a while, neither of them knowing what to do or say. Mariah wills her mind to stop spiraling, but she is already imagining all the things Tessa might have gone through.

“Did they… did they just beat you up, or… did- did they…” Mariah cannot say the words.

“No. They didn’t- touch me like that.”

Mariah nods frantically, relieved but still terrified. She wants to reach out to Tessa but doesn’t dare.

“I can’t believe… I can’t believe I doubted you,” fresh tears start streaming down Mariah’s face, “I doubted you, and now…”

“Hey, it’s not your fault. Mariah, look at me.”

It’s Tessa’s turn to reach for Mariah now, slender fingers wrapping gently around her wrist, then running up her arm.

“It’s not your fault. _Nothing_ that happened is your fault.”

“I've been such an asshole,” Mariah says, a wet chuckle coming out as she wipes the new tears from her face.

“You haven't. You had no reason to believe me.”

“Still, I should have. I _should_ have.”

They stay silent for a while, holding each other’s hands, worried to get too close in Tessa’s condition.

“You cannot get involved in this, Mariah, I’m serious.”

Mariah scoffs, “I won’t let you deal with this on your own!”

“This is too dangerous, I don’t want to risk them coming after you!”

“I’m not going to spend each day doing nothing and wondering if each time I see you might be the last, Tessa!”

Tessa recoils at the distress in Mariah’s voice. She doesn’t answer.

“I can’t lose you,” Mariah whispers.

“You _won’t_. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.”

Mariah takes a deep breath, willing herself to calm damn. She needs to think. She needs a plan. Now. She exhales deeply.

“I’ll find the money. I _will_ ,” Mariah says, determined.

“You don’t have to...”

“Yes, Tessa. I do.”

Tessa just sighs.

“I’m taking you home tonight. I don’t want you staying on your own, you’ll be safer at the ranch with us.”

“No. Mariah, your whole family is there. I’m not risking it.”

“Then I’m coming to yours. It’s only time I see your new place anyway.”

Tessa worries her lips between her teeth at that comment. She hesitates a moment.

“You can’t stay there,” Tessa says, looking defeated.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t have an apartment.”

Mariah’s stomach drops.

“What? What do you mean? Where have you been staying?”

Tessa looks down.

“Are you living in your car again?”

“I’m… I’ve been staying at a homeless shelter.”

Mariah scans Tessa’s face, sees nothing but guilt and shame.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she says, barely above a whisper.

“Because! I didn’t want this to happen!” Tessa says abruptly, “I didn’t want to see the look on your face, and I didn’t want you to feel guilty about it if I told you, or for people to think I was emotionally manipulating you if you tried to help me!”

Mariah _does_ , feel guilty. Has she really been that oblivious? She can’t help feeling she has only let Tessa down, repeatedly.

“I don’t want you to feel bad for me, okay?” Tessa says, her voice more even. “I’ve had way worse. This is almost 5 stars compared to sleeping in my car, trust me.” Tessa adds jokingly in an effort to lighten the mood. Mariah doesn’t find it in her to laugh, or even smile.

“Is it safe?” Mariah asks, then.

“It’s not bad. There are people around, always. I’m never alone. And people can’t just come and go as they please at night, so there’s that…”

Mariah nods, slowly, squeezes Tessa’s hands.

“I want to be with you tonight.” Mariah whispers, eyes pleading.

“Mariah…”

“Let me book us a hotel room, okay? Just for tonight. Somewhere random, anonymous. And tomorrow we’ll be gone? No one will know we were there.”

Mariah sees Tessa hesitating before agreeing, nodding her head slowly.

 

* * * 

 

They use Mariah’s car to pick up some of Tessa’s stuff at the shelter, just for the night. Mariah agrees to wait in the car. Tessa comes back 5 minutes later with nothing more than a duffle bag and her guitar case.

“Ready?” Mariah says.

“Yeah.”

 

* * *

 

They book a room in a random motel right outside of Genoa City. Mariah can see that Tessa makes sure no one is following them the whole ride, even asks her to pull over once or twice, just to be sure.

When Mariah pulls up outside the building, she throws a glance at Tessa and is surprised to see her smiling softly.

They book a double room. While Mariah would love to share the bed with Tessa, she doesn’t trust herself not to move around or accidentally elbow her in her sleep. They also have never shared the bed before – not since they got together, at least – and Mariah doesn’t exactly have the mind to wonder if this could go any further. Not tonight, not like this.

Mariah pays, her hand never leaving Tessa’s.

 

* * *

 

They let the water run and fill the bathtub as Mariah helps Tessa undress in the bedroom. She tries to avert her eyes, yet they’re continually drawn back to Tessa’s pale skin, dark shades of blue and purple painted all over her back, all over her sides, all over her arms, all over her legs. All over. Mariah clenches her teeth hard, holds back the tears, doesn’t say anything.

Now in her underwear and bra, Tessa heads to the bathroom and closes the door softly. Mariah sits on the bed, on her phone, texts Sharon about the situation. She doesn’t want to call. She doesn’t trust her voice, doesn’t trust that Sharon will tell her what she wants to hear either.

Tessa has been in the bathroom for more than 20 minutes now. Mariah wonders if she is okay, figures baths can take a while. But she can’t help the dark thoughts that fill her mind despite everything, and the temptation to go check on Tessa is eventually too strong.

She knocks softly on the wooden door, then again, a bit louder when she hears no answer.

“Tessa?”

Still nothing.

Mariah hesitates, then pushes the door open slowly.

In the bathtub, half covered in foam, Tessa lies asleep, head resting back against the old tiling. She looks peaceful, Mariah thinks. She stands there a moment, watching Tessa’s chest gently rise and fall with each breath she takes.

Mariah wonders if maybe she should leave, cheeks flushing as she realizes the water and soap do a rather poor job at hiding Tessa’s nakedness.

She starts to make her way back to the bedroom to let Tessa rest some more, hand reaching for the handle, when she hears a faint “ _baby”_ whispered behind her. She turns around. Tessa is looking back at her with heavy eyelids and a sleepy smile.

“Hi.” Tessa says, remaining still.

“Hey.” Mariah stands near the door, not sure whether she should move closer or not.

Mariah blushes again. “I’m sorry, I got a bit worried when you didn’t answer and I just… I was not perving or anything.”

Tessa smiles wider, her breathing slow.

“You were not?” she smirks, “I feel insulted.”

Mariah rolls her eyes half-heartedly.

“Come here,” Tessa says, her voice soft.

She walks closer, each step careful and deliberate. She finds herself crouching on the linoleum by the bathtub, holding the fingers Tessa hands out. She has no idea what to say. She stares down at their entwined fingers, Tessa’s pruned by the water, lets the silence stretch. Tessa is here, and so is she. And perhaps there is nothing to say.

“Thank you.” Tessa says after a while.

“For what?”

Tessa is silent a while longer.

“For everything.”

Mariah looks at Tessa; takes in the tentative quirk of her lip, in the soft, sleepy eyes that hold hers with such tenderness that Mariah feels a sharp pang of love and utter adoration take over her completely.

“I haven’t done anyth-“

“You have done so much, _are doing_ so much.”

“I’m also doing this for me, you know? This is not just some grand generous gesture on my part. I’m choosing to do this. I just want you safe, and near me, and with me.”

Tessa smiles again, eyes welling up.

“I’m so lucky to have you.”

 _And I don’t have a choice when it comes to you_ , Mariah thinks but doesn’t say.

 

* * *

 

Soon the water is getting cold and Mariah hands Tessa a fresh towel, turning around to give her some privacy. Tessa pulls the towel around herself and gets out with clenched teeth, accepting Mariah’s helping hand.

Mariah tries to ignore the way Tessa is holding herself as she moves painfully around the room.

 

* * *

 

They order take outs. Chinese —their favorite.

Mariah can’t help cherishing how domestic this feels, in spite of everything. For a minute, they are no longer worried for their life and or hiding, they’re just two girls in love eating take outs in bed and the world seems okay again. She wants the rest of her life to look exactly like this.

“Can you believe the first time you saw me in my underwear I hadn’t even shaved my legs.” Tessa says in between two bites of beef Chow Mein.

Mariah laughs, almost spitting out the food she’s chewing on. She swallows painfully.

“Shut up.”

Tessa smirks, eyes full of mirth, and Mariah rejoices at seeing Tessa looking so happy and carefree.

Mariah imagines what it would be like to live with Tessa. They’d spend lazy Sundays on Netflix together commenting a new movie over red wine, cuddle – make love – in bed and on the couch, would get ready together in the morning, remove the day’s makeup together at night, pick up fights over whose turn it is to cook, over who finished the last bit of coffee or milk. Mariah would watch Tessa play the guitar, watch her sing, watch her read, sleep, eat... watch her be. Mariah cannot imagine a more perfect life for herself, cannot imagine ever being this happy.

 

* * *

 

When it’s time to go to bed, Tessa insists that Mariah share her bed.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Tee.”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Mariah, I’m fine.” Tessa says, settling under the comforter. “If I regret my decision, I’ll move over. You won’t break me. Unless you’re a secret ninja in your sleep or something.”

Mariah doesn’t argue with that.

Tessa pats the empty side of the bed, inviting Mariah to join in. Mariah switches off the overhead light, pulls back her half of the covers and slides into the bed. Tessa slides down too, carefully, rolling over to face Mariah.

Mariah smiles, reaches for Tessa’s hand. Tessa smiles back, but then it twitches and her face gets somber, just an instant.

“What is it?”

“I just… This isn’t exactly the cozy room we had talked about, is it.”

Mariah recalls the conversation they had about a month ago. This is no romantic get away in San Fran, but Mariah will take it.

“Another time.” Mariah says, caressing Tessa’s cheek softly with the back of a finger.

Tessa sighs.

“I wish you didn’t have to go through this. You deserve to be taken to music festivals, not to spend your time worrying and hiding and asking for money.”

“Tessa…”

Tessa remains silence, and Mariah isn’t sure what to say to reassure her, to promise her that she wants _this_ , with _her_ , whatever it entails.

“I’d take this with you over San Fran with anyone else.”

Tessa’s lips quirk at that and her eyes soften, and before she knows it Tessa is kissing her, a gentle finger holding her chin. Tessa kisses her with a softness and familiarity that makes Mariah shudder. Her eyes flutter closed and she allows the kiss to deepen, slowly.

They haven’t kissed in a bed before, and Mariah knows this is a slippery slope. But still, she allows Tessa’s lips to travel down her throat, her hands to find their way up Mariah’s shirt. Allows herself to feel loved, and wanted, even if just for a moment. She thinks, distantly, that this is somehow monumental – that she is getting something she has always wanted.

She lets her own hand travel the smooth expanse of Tessa’s back, her touch so light she isn’t sure Tessa even feels it.

They kiss, lazy and slow, a while longer, and Mariah feels a hand cup her breast, a thumb graze her nipple. She exhales deeply against Tessa’s neck, nuzzles against it, taking in everything, from the smell of Tessa’s shampoo to the feel of Tessa’s neck against her lips and the tickle of her hair against her nose.

It is only when she feels a hand slowly fumble its way between them, towards the elastic of her pants, that she remembers they can’t do this, that she doesn’t want to do this. She _does_ , but not like this.

“Tessa,” she says, a gentle hand on Tessa’s wrist, holding it in place.

Tessa exhales, “I know.”

“When we do this for real, I want to be able to _really_ touch you.”

“I know.”

Mariah reaches up to cup Tessa’s face before kissing her softly one last time, like a silent promise.

“Come here,” she says, and Tessa scoots over and settles against Mariah, her face buried in her neck, Mariah's chin resting on top of her head.

Soon, the feels Tessa’s breathing even out, slow and steady.

“I love you,” Mariah whispers, expecting Tessa to be asleep. The words are still shy; Mariah can count on the fingers of one hand the amount of time they’ve said it to each other. But she doesn’t need to hear them to feel them anymore.

Mariah is about to fall asleep, lulled by Tessa’s breathing, when she hears something faintly whispered back to her.

“I love you, too”

 

 


End file.
